First of all let me say that prayers are needed at this time for Secret..... I love her, and I only want good things for her......... things have come to an end here for us.... the house of cards that has been my relationship with Secret over the last year has finally come crashing down for good and it's time for me to go elsewhere..... I'm not going to play the blame game.... I am a grown adult and will take responsibility for my decisions..... it's been time for me to go for quite a long time now, but I have stuck it out, as she has, for some higher purpose that has ultimately evaded us both..... I think my relationship with little LuLu has been the biggest reason for me overstaying my time here, but I will have to just do the best I can in keeping myself as some sort of guiding presence in her life from wherever I end up living.... for now, I will try to find a place to live very quickly as I do at least have a good job here..... I just dont know what I am going to do.... all the reasons that I decided to live here are forever gone......

In the short run, things will probably be worse before they get better as these situations go, but I feel that the healing that has needed to take place between Secret and I may finally have some fertile soil to take root once we are pursuing separate.... and hopefully happier individual lives... I love Secret dearly and I always will. she is a good woman who has been very good to me....... I fervently pray that she will find the peace and happiness she deserves..... as for me.... I will rebound, as always..... I dont know how much I will be able to blog but I will try to stay plugged in as much as I can...... from somewhere out there..

Hiya Streamers..... well, I took the plunge and went out and purchased a guitar over the weekend..... I had lost mine during my recent financial woes and it is LOVELY to have one back in my arms again! It's an acoustic, which suits me the best.... I have fun with electric guitars but I hold acoustic guitars near and dear to my heart..... almost anyone can make an electric sound cool, but an acoustic guitar is so much more demanding; unforgiving.... you absolutely get out of it what you put in to it.... you play weakly or sloppy and that's what you will hear.... it makes me play better and keeps me disciplined about technique and tonality. So, I am noodling around with it and it has become very apparent how rusty my playing has become.... my fingers hurt from the strings not being broken in and my fingertips have become soft..... I look forward to getting back in shape musically.... I love my keyboards, but they are the musical mistress in my life.... the guitar is my one true love.... it becomes an extention of myself; the earthy mix of flesh, wood and steel.... a true organic experience to have the wood and strings warm up as my fingers and mind heat up.....

I am thrilled to be back on guitar and I am anticipating doing alot of recording over the next few weeks to flesh out some music I have been working on where the piano just wasnt enough to fulfill my vision for those particular pieces.... YAY!

Have a great Monday, Streamers!

This is another new song.... it's not good "poetry" per se... it's too rhymey; too direct... but I wanted to write out some lyrics to hang on some rather savage music I composed about the bitterness I feel at times.... It's not pretty music and these are not pretty words... it's just raw frustration.... The title is something obscure that exists in my heart only and would be very difficult to explain.... but I am attaching that feeling to this song anyway.

"Seven Septembers"

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Swallowing
these bitter pills
drawing hot blood
in this test of wills...

No love lost
and less love gained
there is no escape
from this firey pain...

Nothing matters anymore
our only purpose
is keeping score
counting shipwrecks
upon our shore...

Cast a sorrowed glance
back to happier seasons
no sense
in pointing out
the reasons...

These words are written
with a heavy heart
pouring out my witness
as our destinies part...

"Seven Septembers" Copyright; Scott Scarborough; 2007

Hi there my garrulous, yet lovable Streamers!

It's time for yet another round of inane questions!

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.

*Places Belle's frozen cell phone in the basket*

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1. How much coffee do you drink daily?

2. Paul Simon or John Mayer?

3. Do you suffer from road rage?

4. Ever own a live chicken?

5. Can your masturbation bra detect carbon monoxide?

6. What's one thing in your life that you need to stop doing?

7. Ever been to Salisbury, Maryland?

Thanks for playing!

I worked up some lyrics to a song I have been kicking around for a few weeks...... this makes more sense when you hear the music and melody.

"Stumble"

trip and stumble
and fall down again
I can never seem to do
the things I need to do
to win...

your heart, your love, your faith
trip and stumble
and fall down again

we were stronger as two
than as struggling ones
separated by our
endless dones
and left undones

it's hollow here
when there's nothing inside
always looking for something
always a new place to hide

defenseless
senseless
no longer know
what's right or wrong

why hang onto nothing
grasping at what is now
gone...

"Stumble", Copyright; Scott Scarborough; 2007