Anyone ever feel like their whole life and future had changed it's determined course and was up in the air, to be blown about by the breezes of circumstance and fate?
I'm 39 years old. Moved to a state 750 miles away from family and friends to start anew only to have the whole thing crash around me. Now, I'm 4 states away from friends and family and on my own. It's exciting and scary at the same time.
My real estate career is going well. I've sold real estate for many years in the past, but this is a whole new ball game out here in small town America, but I am blessed to be with terrific mentors right now. They are very demanding and hard on me, but this baptism of fire is the fastest track to success. They see that I have that potential and have been merciless in squeezing every bit of effort from me. It's a good thing, just difficult.
I love the natural beauty and quaint charm of living in the lazy low mountains of the south, but I still miss Texas sometimes. I suppose that's where most of the hearts that give a damn about me are, so that is natural.
I just feel lost and scared and hurt about the mistakes I have made in my relationships here.
I turn to Scripture everyday without fail, but I am getting diminishing returns from that walk. Where is my comforting God? I blasphemy Him in disgust just as I do to those who I feel wrong me or attempt to control me. I need to join a Bible study or some kind of fellowship to help me there. I assume God just shrugs at my spiritual tantrums. I can't intimidate Him! A molecule in the universe can't stir things up too terribly much.
Meanwhile, I want to try the usual bandaids but they are worthless to me now that I am old and wise enough to know better.
This is what's called the crossroads, folks......
My life?
to be continued, whether I like it or not......
Thanks.
